Ah yes, time has come for my new column – The Unexpected Reviews. Today I take a closer look at Mini-Muh by Cloetta Fazer. Its a soft little chunk of milk chocolate. Thin, with a strong and tasty, erhm, taste. It melts on your tongue, and it is guaranteed to color your spit, so watch out! The fact it’s made in Sweden can make you safe that no cows were harmed in the making, and you can be safe from SARS and other animal diseases. As you can see by the wrapping, the chocolate comes from the male cow, also referred to as the bull (not to be mistaken with a bulldog). The cow (or bull) graze in the middle of the winter, when the thin ozon layer over sweden have brought summer to the lowlands while the mountains are still covered in snow. This might be a metaphor, the snow covered mountains might resemble milk coated chocolate. Oh well, to make sure the chocolate have no bits in it, the bulls (or cows) have been hypnotized to only eat the grass, thus leaving the nice flowers alone for the young girls to pick.
My only complaint about the Mini-Muh is that while it is indeed mini (only 15 grams!), the name does not match the powerful, fast, dreadful, macho bull on the paper. Oh well, guess its just a gimmick. Thumbs up for mentioning the word “cocoa” 3 times on the declaration. What makes me wonder though is: if it contain 25% cocoa and 25% milk – what on earth is the remaining 51%? The best before dates also always confuse me. In both norwegian and swedish it says “best before”, whilst in danish it says “lasting till and at” – bad translation, but to me it seems a bit less frantic. I really think that is racist.
Lastly, there are no fun puzzles for kids on the inside of the wrapping. Like “help the mini-muh finding the green grass by following the right line” or “find as many faults about the SARS-infected cow in the picture to the right as possible”.
Mini-Muh receives a perfect rating of somewhere around 96!